“If we don’t look at where we’re dishonest, harsh, unforgiving, disrespectful, greedy, domineering, and so on, then we cannot change that thing. If we just suppress our shadow, trying to disown it, then it exists as an unintegrated fractal of our personality. And we have no power over what we have not explored.”
– Marianne Williamson
“I’m going to tell you a secret: All things that breathe, that grow, that have a beat to their heart or flow to their cells, all things alive are connected. If you take the time to hold life, truly hold it in your hands, you can feel this connection.”
On the way to work earlier this week riding the train to the 2nd district of Vienna, an elderly man caught my attention. He wore an attire of black dress pants, a starched white, shirt with a blue-stripped tie and a tweed jacket as he sat by the window. The jacket hung loosely over his shoulders which he adjusted every once in awhile with trembling hands. There was a black winter coat neatly piled beside him on the train seat. A faraway look shone in his eyes through his metal-rimmed glasses. He glanced in my direction when I entered the train, but looked straight through me.
In both hands he held some wooden beads, while his lips moved silently. The crease between his eyebrows grew deeper as he held the beads with one hand and with the other moved a finger methodically in circular motion over one bead at a time. And then onto the surface of his pointy finger of the opposite hand. Eventually, he put the beads away in the inner pocket of his jacket.
Momentarily he wrung his hands together and then adjusted his jacket once more. He pressed his lips together and took a long, deep breath. Afterwards, lightly placing his hands together at the fingertips holding them in a thoughtful pose.
Right before his stop he stood up and put his arms into his jacket and then donned his elegant winter coat.
It so happened that we were getting off at the same time. He was slightly confused as he stepped onto the platform. He needed a moment or two to orientate himself before disappearing into the shuffle.
It struck me how many people have a heart full of so many different things that we can’t possibly ever know. We face each day in our fragility and try our best to get through life. Let’s keep our hearts open even in the midst of our vulnerabilities and be compassionate. First to ourselves and then to others. In patience, hold your essence gently and sacredly.
The fog of confusion comes rolling in and hides all form….leaving the feeling of loss to flood the soul in overwhelming waves of doubt, sorrow, fear and despair. Scrambling to think…to search for answers…with nothing to hold onto….this is uncertainty. The fog of confusion comes rolling in and hides all form….leaving only questions….which way now?…how will I know?…when will I know?…why is this happening?…where am I?…how can this be?…what am I doing here?…what now?…what can I do? The fog of confusion comes rolling in and hides all form…leaving few choices. Stumbling, struggling, going back and forth…becoming lost. Resistance or Faith? Allowing the confusion to be…surrendering to the moment in acceptance and forgiveness…relinquishing the patterns of resistance, underneath the sorrow…coming to a sacred place into stillness…inner peace. The soul returns home. Suddenly the fog of confusion lifts. The firm, solid foundation of a mountain is revealed. Trust is reborn. The foundation of a mountain is the stronghold of depth in Divine Presence…the essence of Divine Love.
“Breathing in, I see myself as a mountain. Breathing out, I feel solid. Nothing can move or distract me. Mountain, solid.”