So many times we seek clarity especially when we fumble with our own fears. And sometimes the light can grow dim and we don’t even realize it. Our eyes adjust and we fumble even more…until we’re submerged in darkness. Well, that is where I have been this week. Going through my own darkness. Somewhere the words…”even in the darkness I am with you” rise into my consciousness. They come from Psalms, “even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.” Words echoing back to me from my childhood. Divine Love, Divine Soul Essence as I like to call it is always there even when we can’t see it, and even in the darkest of times when we can’t feel it. It never forsakes us. I have stumbled around blindly, hurting those I love most in the world, and yet even then Soul Essence gently and compassionately sends me a sign.
For me, they came to me through someone else’s plea,
“Sometimes reaching out is the hardest..you wish for..you pray for someone to see you..drowning in the smiles that aren’t real…who will see.” Someone whom I love so dearly. I’ve been scratching around blindly for understanding, and it wasn’t until I entered into their ache that I could feel…
Another sign was the raven. A symbol of magic, healing, and creation. It is said that, “Raven activates the energy of magic and links it to our will and intention. With this totem, we can make great changes in our life; the ability to take the unformed thought and make it reality. The raven shows us how to go into the dark of our inner self and bring out the light of our true self; resolving inner conflicts which have long been buried.” Well, after I read this I realized through the tears that’s exactly where I’ve been. My own inner darkness. I am grateful today. I am thankful to be going through that darkness if only to know that I will come out in my own inner light. I still feel fear. I fear that I will continue to fumble in blindness. I am asking for a miracle, “Love can you touch my eyes, and give me sight?” I believe in You. For now, I breathe mindfully with self-forgiveness.
*photo from Pinterest Via Allison Douglass